I miss Gratisgab. She had the most funniest blog ever. And now she doesnt post anymore. I'm sad.

Brothers and Sisters.

A is VERY close to his brother. My dad and his brother are not on talking terms. I know another set who used to hang out together in the same bunch of friends, but never really seemed to talk to each other. And now that they have their own lives, I really doubt they talk to each other, not because they hate each other, but because they have nothing to talk about..

On the other hand, I don;t know any sisters who are indifferent or not on talking terms. Is this a brother thing? Not sure.

How I spend my weekend

Dozing.
Saving $150. adding cushions to my old $5 rocking chair, and testing it out as a rocker/glider.
Going to maternity clothing stores to buy clothes, and burning those aforementioned $150.
Signing up for a free back massage (nothing is ever free, but they haven't met me yet.)
Going to Pottery Barn Kids and hitting up on an idea. Tell parents to get high quality sheets from India. And have mom-in-law make quilts from high quality fabric. Also buy a nice Singer machine here, and set up a sweatshop and make the moms make all kinds of cute things for the baby. They will have to show me results at the end of the day. And if they are not what I had in mind, off goes the heating..(maybe it should be called a freezeshop)
Going through one mom blog after the other.. this is probably the most wasteful activity of the weekend. Even more than dozing.

what to do now.

When I defended my thesis, I took an oath: Never to bring work home again. Ever. There are a lot of things I could do at home, and frankly, life is much easier if the two are separate.
However, right now, I don't have much to do at home. Of course there's the dishes and the cleaning of the entire freaking house. But the dishes are A's job for now, and the house will be cleaned over the weekend.
So what do I do now?

Ooh. How about a little bit of thought organizing. I used to use OneNote quite extensively during my phd,but stopped using it since the writing started. So maybe get back to doing that.
And of course, fill the blog with yapyap and more yap.

kicker

Watched some seriously creepy vids on youtube about baby movements at week 24. seriously. why would people record their bellies and then post the videos on youtube? anyway, did that because i was concerned that I wasn't feeling anything much, and the fact that i don't really look preggers. and then last night, i got kicked in the belly. For a change not by A, but by A's future offspring. aww.:) went from a 'shit. what was that'. to 'omg.now i have to act all mommy', to finally patting my belly at an attempt at being maternal.. frankly, last night was the first night I felt something 'emotionally' for the baby, and not just omg am i killing it by eating this shrimp or taking this vaccine.

hopefully i get more maternal as days pass.

To get shot or not?

Approaching a serious catch-22 situation, and unless I take a stand now, this thing is going to get out of control.

It's about deciding to take the H1N1 vaccine. For a while I was sure I wasn't going to take it, but then since I am flying across the country in what will be close quarters with people I don't really know, I decided that I will.

I am not sure what my thought process is, but basically, if I don't take the shot, and get the flu and die, then all the arguments about what will happen to the baby are really moot, aren't they?

Somehow, right now I am more willing to take the risk of unknown effects than the known effect that pregnant women are very susceptible to the harmful effects of the flu.

Now only if the vaccine was in fact available..

Sitting at work, waiting for a to come pick me up..

I need something to do . Today wasn't an altogether waste but still. My fat fingers haven't yet adapted to the but butt keys of the iPhone but hey, I am managingbto type whole sentences out . Lunch was bad today ,.. Split pea soup which wa s essentially tasteless dal. Buy atleast the baby's wiggling keeps me amused..

Reflections on day two

Love This.


Oddly, one of my mom's first reactions when I told her I was finally done..'so tell me now, how much longer did it REALLY take'..(she lost patience at year 4.. so for the past two years its been 'get it done with already')

Dad's first reaction when I told him I'll be staying back where I am and take up a lower paying job..'one must learn to dream a little bigger'..thanks..:| ..I can never ever dare to tell my parents that sometimes I feel like becoming a housewife. They will personally come here and kick my ass. Even though I am a 'grownup'.

But at least their expectations are intact. Never once did they even sneakily suggest I reproduce..Love my parents for the back-handed 'encouragement' they have been providing most of the time.. and the times when they really do come out and say that they are proud of me for what I've been doing..

It's Day Two

of NOT being a PhD student.. and I am going to go to the lab already. But its going to be to clear my desk out. Otherwise all I am going to do is

Go to buy a houseplant- the clover looks a little lonely..

Plant the bulbs I bought - indoor ones.. I work small scale.

It is VERY wierd, not having something to obsess about..I mean no more am I going to have to think about if the experiment I set up yesterday will or will not work. I am thinking of keeping plain 8-5 hours in my current job..and then come home and take care of ME. I may get a laptop from work, but I think now priorities have shifted. I me myself and family will come first and second depending on the situation, and work will come third, atleast for a while now.


In the long term, I need to get back into gardening mode. Recruit someone I know to teach me gardening in the ground.

What next?

After 6 looooong years, I am finally done. Done with being a PhD student. Finally everyone can rest easy. My parents who were seriously worried about my mental health have now let a sigh of relief. Hopefully there wont be anymore crazies anymore.

They were hard. The past 6 years. At least twice everyday for the past 4 years, I felt like giving the whole thing up. And at least twice in the past 4 years I had seriously considered it. Now that its over, all those things seem so tiny. And getting through just seems so worthwhile. As if all that drama would have gone to waste had I given up midway through. At least now I have a degree to show for it. And a few publications.

I still don't know what I am going to do next. Right now, I am in a setting which lets me get an idea of how life would be if I were to join the industry.. but at the same time, some forces are making me consider the idea of teaching. And it isn't seeming so bad. I like to teach, and the people who teach me the teaching course certainly seem really excited about the profession. But would I want to go through the whole 6 years all over again, when I try to get tenure? I don't think so..

I do have a year to figure out what I want to do, and then another year to prepare my CV accordingly..

But as of now, as it is sinking in that I can;t say 'Sqrlnt, PhD student' anymore, i am confused about what my new identity will be. Oh well, at least for the next 4 months or so, it could be 'sqrlnt, mommy to be'. Unfortunately, I almost threw up from an overdose of maternity advice yesterday..so I might just be over that...